Mandy Coe
Staring For Beginners
Drunks and dogs don’t like it.
If you are caught staring, it
is no good pretending
to check your watch or study
the ceiling.
These are signs of a novice.
Simply shift your gaze
to a mid-distance point.
Cultivating a light frown
will give the impression of
deep thought.
For most sentient beings, a
stare
carries a voltage. The subject
will sense
anything from a mild buzz to a
jolt. Other symptoms
include increased heart-rate,
chills
and hair becoming
electro-statically charged.
Staring at part of a person’s
body
leaves you open to a high
wattage stare-back.
Hostile stare-volleys
are to be avoided in confined
spaces.
Babies under the age of three
experience stares as noise.
They can be woken from deep
sleep by a stare
and will look around the room
to identify its source.
Train windows are useful
for bending stares round
corners.
But only heavily misted glass
prevents them from being
sensed.
Keep stares short.
Set a maximum distance between
you and the subject.
Tip: gazing and staring are two
different things.
It is vital to remember this in
relationships, especially
when your partner is naked.
Mandy Coe lives in Liverpool England. She reads her work at
poetry events across the UK. Her poetry has won a number of awards and has
been broadcast on BBC radio and television. Her second collection is to be
published by Shoestring Press in spring of 2004. |