Footnotes on Early Twenty-First Century Pop
make me hip that I’m a homo?
I pick up
the latest copy of Entertainment Weekly,
magazine with the appropriate initials, “Ew.”
Harry Potter casting his latest spell,
Sphinctorum! The publication is filled
queers of all genders and colors-
off-white, and tan. We’ve emptied the closet
on every other page, being gay,
books about being gay, looking gay,
straight men look gay, because News Flash!
inverts are vain and all heterosexual males
who need us, need us, to dress them.
knew I was stylish, but I didn’t know
existence was in style. I suppose I could sneer,
cupping my opposite elbow, the other hand
very thin cigarette, and I could say,
Queer Eye gaysploitation bullshit!
I’m queer, and I am not for sale!”
But I know
I am. And I think it’s fabulous.
really care how we invade the media.
care if we become the pets of the Emmys,
Golden Globe awards as paperweights
as we type
away at our thick coming-out memoirs
the movie rights to Oprah. You can call
opportunist, you can squint your gray eyes
about how I sensationalized and exploited
Gay Poet for Sale! But I have halo for miles,
fact that I shine it with Astroglide makes it sparkle
more. Because maybe one day, fifty years
or so from
now, this poem will appear in a Norton Anthology
Contemporary Poetry, next to a brief biography
“gay poet for sale,” and the by then obscure
will be footnoted, and a bunch of straight
kids will read it and find the little number 3
bottom of the page where it says, “3. Astroglide
turn-of-the-millennium lubricant favored by homosexuals
in anal intercourse,” and to them it won’t seem odd,
or scandalous, it’ll just be a footnote,
and I am
really looking forward to being footnoted.
Evan Peterson resides in Fort Lauderdale where he
writes and works. He has one self-published chapbook, Viscera,
and is currently composing a second tentatively titled The Pantheon.
"Footnotes" was a performance piece that he is happy to see on the
page. Evan satirizes pop culture but secretly yearns to be a household