The crash and slip of tectonic plates spawns
earthquakes. But the ancients’ explanations resonate with me.
Certain Hindus thought earth rides four elephants, balanced on a
turtle’s back, tottering on a cobra’s head; the earth shakes when
any of these creatures shift. For Siberians, earth perches on the
god Tuli’s sled and the land quivers when his dogs scratch fleas.
Namuzu, a catfish curled in the mud under Japan, thrashes
when his subduer—the demigod Kashima—gets careless. Vaqueros blame
El Diablo ripping the earth from the inside. Some Greeks blamed
Poseidon; others blamed shifting air pockets. Further suspects
include the Great Spirit, Atlas, Drebkuhls, Chibchacum, raging
underground seas, seven serpents, thunder, Loki, vengeful angels, a
cross-dressing demon named Poxono, giants and their wives, frogs,
whales, and thunderbirds. Several scientists argue that unlike most
calamities, earthquakes trigger human beings’ primary fear—falling.
GI Joe just reminded me “that knowing is half the
battle” when a low-thunder rumble, from too far away, rose above my
crunchy mouthful of Froot Loops. The joint cracks of 2x4s and
drywall punctuated the growl like a brittle invalid forced to
stretch. Dual-mirrored candle holders swayed above the dining room
table like twin faces disagreeing in unison. The brass light
fixture, with eight tear-drop bulbs, carved lazy eights in the air.
Just then, my father—the chief of police—grabbed
my 1st grade bicep. Shaving cream gave a Santa Claus feel to his
anxious eyes. He didn’t have his shirt, but a badge and holster hung
on his dress belt. He didn’t know what to do. A Hoosier new to the Golden State,
Dad was better equipped to deal with twisters and doped-up college
kids than tectonic plates liquefying beneath his feet. Images of the
Big One—California falling into
the sea—percolated through his brain. Instead of bracing under the
sturdy oak table, we scrambled to the master bedroom. He tried to
shove me under the California king, but I
was too husky. The shaker ended before I stood up.
That day I heard older school kids chattering
about a tsunami—the whole Pacific Coast under some sort of tidal
wave alert. Worn out teachers explained the 3.4 temblor couldn’t
generate a killer wave, but their words didn’t soothe my paranoia.
That night I dreamt of a towering green-black wall of water—backlit
by the moon—barreling toward me. This old water monster slams the
shallows, soars up, looms over the houses, and pauses; a ten-story
killer just milliseconds from obliterating Goleta, California.
My nine-year-old dream of the zoo’s misty
rainforest vanished when Dad snatched me from bed and hauled me out
of grandma’s two-bedroom apartment on the 10th floor of Grace Tower,
a San Diego
retirement home. Dazed from sleep, I thought we were taking out the
garbage at 5 a.m. Grandma held fast in her recliner, knitting and
smoking Virginia Slims. As we traded the apartment’s cigarette air
for the hallway, I heard her, “If it’s my time, it’s my time.”
Shoeless, we scrambled down the outdoor stairwell
cleaved to the building’s spine. While hopping the concrete steps, I
realized it was an earthquake. Maybe it was the tower’s swaying or
maybe Dad told me. The shaker was over before we hit the stairs, but
that didn’t slow our escape into the earthquake. Out of breath at
street level, Dad declared an end to our vacation, and an immediate
high-speed run back up the coast. I sheltered in place—in the
cardboard brown Nissan Sentra—while Dad climbed back up to pack. In
the car, I heard stale-voiced newscasters report on damage and
aftershocks. The Oceanside quake
registered 5.3 on the Richter, a force equivalent to 150 kilotons of
TNT or 10 Little Boys, the nuclear bomb dropped on
Hiroshima. One person died, a hermit crushed
by his bookcase.
My old man—a die-hard Catholic—said we all die,
we aren’t in control, and not to worry about it because there is
nothing we can do. During mass at Saint Raphael’s that Sunday, I
peered at the car-sized light fixtures—wrought iron, flying-saucer
shaped masses—waiting to jackhammer me into the kneeler after their
flimsy chains snapped. And the stained glass. Lead and edges, one
step from bullets and blades. I conjured splintered shards imploding
and pinning me to the pew.
creek tumbled its way toward the Pacific a block from my childhood
home. Tim and I waded the waters scooping tad poles and casting
salmon eggs for fish that weren’t there. Once we scoped an old milk
bottle jutting from a steep bank fifty feet above the stream. A
colony of tiny black ants thrived within the jug’s frosty glass. We
pried the container from the dried soil and watched the ants
scramble as their world flipped. A moment later, I palmed the bottle
and softball lobbed it toward the calm waters. The jug whirled on
its parabolic trajectory slinging its contents like spin paint as I
shook ants from my hand. An explosion of glass—then soil, ants, and
eggs floated or fell to the surface, spreading in rings from the
epicenter. We clambered to the stream to view the carnage as the
waters scurried the ant world to sea. Survivors clung to each other
and brittle brown sycamore leaves.
Villagers in Eastern Europe or Southern Asia use a failsafe earthquake warning system.
Like canaries in coal mines alerting miners to poison gas, ants in
ant hills can sense seismic spasms. People eyeball the mound from
time to time, and if they spot frenzied ants—hauling eggs from the
nest—then a tremor is imminent. In California, many believe
cats and dogs can sense temblors. Experts discount people’s beliefs
that insects or animals can predict earthquakes.
Fifth grade football practice on La Canada
Elementary’s shabby turf. As a skinny lineman on the Scorpions, I
willed practice over so I could get home to watch Game 3 of the
World Series, the Battle of the Bay… A’s
versus Giants. McGwire and Canseco were due. My coaches, a trio of
gritty sergeants from nearby Vandenberg Air Force Base, wanted to be
home watching the game too. One of the assistants—Ellis, an Air
Force cop—had played ball at Clemson, and yelled too much. The sun
hovered above a wall of fog chugging in from the Pacific. The
sergeants seemed meaner than usual. Their ire likely targeted Andy,
the kid who bawled at practice the day before. The sergeants wanted
us tough, to peel our baby fat. Tackling drills.
There was no way I could have felt the 7.1 Loma Prieta quake
killing dozens nearly 300 miles from me. The shaker would have felt
like thunder if I wasn’t battle-royalling another kid between the
two tattered yellow dummy bags. The truck’s radio blared when Dad
picked me up. I expected Al Michaels’ voice propped up by background
crowd noise. Instead, newscasters droned about pancaked highways, a
broken bridge, and exploding row houses. Later, I read motorists’
accounts: “The bridge was like a wave. I saw the bridge go up and
down and then I passed out,” or “the freeway was just falling down.
Concrete was flying everywhere and people were screaming.” I watched
news videos of the Superman cars trying to jump the gap in the Bay Bridge.
Could they just not stop, or were they trying to escape—to span the
Parkinson tremors shake up
insidious, unpredictable, and terrifying consequences just like the
spontaneous flux, rupture, or twist of tectonic plates. Like fault
lines crisscrossing California,
Dad’s synapses and nerves cradled a terrifying potential. His motor
cortex and spine, a personal San Andreas. A lack of the key
neurotransmitter, dopamine, generates Parkinson’s, and the friction
between two chunks of crust churns up earthquakes. No chemicals or
hormones can ease the tension between these tons of rock just as
they can’t relieve Parkinson’s. Medications can’t penetrate the
blood-brain barrier. Brain surgery can temporarily mask symptoms,
but it becomes futile, like riding out an earthquake in a doorway.
Dad spent every minute wondering not if or when,
but how his world would shake. It began simply with a twitch in the
hand, a jumpy leg. Not crumpled bridges, or flattened schools, but
the helplessness of not being able to carry a cup of water, walk to
the bathroom, or work a fork. He lived in a world of aftershocks
constantly reminding him the Big One was coming.
Often earthquakes don’t
kill, but their side effects do. It’s not the earth’s shaking, but
the movement of things—buildings, glass, furniture, water—that
slaughter. In the great San Francisco
quake of 1906, fire consumed more lives than seismic waves. The 4th
deadliest shaker in history slammed countries ringing the
on December 26, 2004. It registered 9.3, roughly
26.3 megatons of TNT or 1500
Little Boys. The quake—off Sumatra,
19 miles below sea level—unleashed 10-story tsunamis. More
than 230,000 people—the population of
not from the shaking, but the walls of sea water.
Many diseases don’t kill, but their side effects
will. Choking, pneumonia, falling, or dementia usually claims
Parkinson sufferers. Dementia ravages 40 percent of Parkinson’s
patients. For my father, dementia was his Big One. Three years
before his death, he fell into a choppy sea of memories,
hallucinations, and delusions. His past blurred with the present,
marooning him in time and place. Early on, his grip on reality
overpowered the episodes. He could rationalize his way out, lulls in
Eventually, the delusions and hallucinations
became his reality. Frequently he was two states and decades away.
Sometimes he left the house for 3 a.m. appointments. He called the
sheriff to rid the house of invisible trespassers. Mom moved his
guns out, sold his truck, and took his keys. Dad blamed my Mother.
She conspired with the spacemen. In 2005, I was charged as an
accomplice when I couldn’t take him to a 1977 Illinois Elks Lodge
for a Pabst. His grandkids were alien progeny. He unpacked and
reshuffled thirty years worth of police records daily. He showed my
wife crime scene Polaroids from yesterday’s twenty-five-year old
He said “this is the damndest stuff; I’m not sure
how it will end up.” The medicines wore off with sleep, and most
nights he was paralyzed in bed with his runaway mind. He slept with
a hand-crank radio, sports commentators linked him to reality and
lulled him to troubled sleep. Once, raccoons, skunks, and porcupines
scurried around his room, under his bed—glared from the windowsill.
He asked me to help oust the rodents, and warned me about their
short fuses. He recommended a soft “shhhh” sound. Together we
shooshed away the varmints.
The VA dementia unit’s locked doors open in one
direction, and they buzz to let staff and visitors in. Once I walked
in his room to find him under the bed. His bare feet jutted out,
like a Wizard of Oz witch or shoeless mechanic. The orderly said
he’d been under there for an hour.
“What’s going on, Pop?”
“Damn earthquake, so I got under the truck.”
“A big one?”
“Not too bad.”
“Why are you still under there?”
“Figured I should fix this thing while I was here.”
“Can I help?”
“Sure, hand me that crescent.”
On my knees, I handed my father an imaginary wrench as he tinkered
with the motors and rods of the wheeled hospital bed. When he
finished, I grasped his still muscular arms, helped him to his feet.
Later, I sat at the foot of his bed and wished he could somehow get
us out of this mess. On the way out, I stood in the doorway and
clutched the frame.
Brandon Lingle’s work has appeared in The North American
Review, War, Literature, & the Arts,
Airman Magazine, and elsewhere. He is the art director of
War, Literature, & the Arts. He teaches at the US Air Force