Blip Magazine Archive


Home : Archive : Links

Alec Solomita

In the Ravine

I was tripping my brains out and two of my friends pulled up in their convertible, Lou's convertible. Jimmy and Lou. They were cocked. They weren't tripping. They told me to get in and hang with them. I said, "No, I'm with my friends here, and I don't want to leave them." But they said, "C'mon, get in." I got in the back and we were already moving before I realized how fucking cocked they really were. I didn't realize how fuckin' cocked they were 'til we started driving.

Jimmy, the one who was my friend, was riding shotgun, and Lou was driving. They were passing some fucking thing back and forth, a rag soaked in kerosene or some fucking thing, sniffing it. And they asked me if I wanted any. No.

Lou was doing eighty on Trapelo Road. Eighty on Trapelo. "Where are we going?"I asked. I was tripping my brains out. Jimmy tells me we're going to Lou's to pick up a case. So I'm sitting back there saying to myself, "OK, this is OK. Jimmy wouldn't do anything to put you in danger. Jimmy's your friend. This is OK." And we're in like a fuckin' wind tunnel.

So I'm getting nervous and I tell Jimmy I got to get back to my friends, and he says after we go to Lou's. What can I do? I sit back and try to relax. But I was so high. You can imagine. And Lou's fuckin' whacked and he's doing like Confederate screams and shit, and I'm worried we're gonna get pulled over, or I'm gonna boot. Or the car's going to flip.

We get to Lou's and Lou gets out of the car, and then I see how cocked he is. I didn't realize how fuckin' cocked he was 'til he got out of the car. He gets out and takes one step, not even one step, and falls on his face. Rolls over, gets up, and starts walking to his porch. Before the first step he's goin' down again. Straight down, smashes his face on the flat part of the top step. Thank God he didn't hit the edge. He turns over and his nose is pointing to the side. And his wife comes onto the porch. She looks at him for a second and then gives him the finger with both hands. Giving him the finger with both hands, screaming, '"You asshole! You told me you'd call if you got high! You told me you'd warn me." And he starts in, calling her a piece of shit, a fuckin' cow, etcetera.

I'm still in the back seat you know. Jimmy is sort of like circling around trying to calm them down. I'm tripping my brains out. And Lou's back on his feet, the blood is pouring out of his nose onto his t-shirt. And these fuckin’ pieces of teeth are flying out of his mouth while he's screaming at her.

And I say to Jimmy, "Jimmy, I got to get back to my friends, you know." So, he gets back in the car and he moves over into the driver's seat and starts the car, and Janis starts screaming, "Your not leaving this dirt bag here. You're not fuckin' leavin' this fuckin' dirt bag here." Lou's sitting on the porch steps now, wiping his face with his t-shirt and laughing. He makes like a gesture, like with both his hands, like a game show host presenting the prize, or one of the women, you know the presenters, so he makes this gesture like he's presenting Janis like a prize, and he says, "My wife, folks."

And a-course me and Jimmy start laughin'. And Lou starts laughin' harder. And Jimmy' gets to laughin' so hard he's leaning over the steering wheel like he's, you know, helpless. With laughter. And me too, I'm fuckin' cryin' I'm laughin' so hard. And Janis starts coming towards us, down the steps, screaming "What's so fucking funny?" And then Lou does it again. He makes this gesture and he says, like he's really proud, you know, "My wife, folks." And Jimmy's squirming and jumping and slapping the seat. And Janis walks around next to him, but he doesn't see her because he's laughing so hard. And I can't talk to like warn him or shit because I'm laughin' so fuckin’ hard.

And Janis comes around to the driver's side and snaps the fuckin' antenna off the fuckin' hood, I swear to Christ, one fuckin' smooth fuckin' movement, snaps the antenna off. And still Jimmy doesn't even know she's there. But now Lou's up on his feet, and he's saying, "What the fuck are you doin'? What the fuck are you doin'?" But then he starts to laugh again. "Where the fuck did you learn that?" he says, "Fuckin' Dorchester? Where the fuck did you learn that move, Janis? Fuckin' Roxbury?"

Even when she starts whipping Jimmy's back with the fuckin' thing, Lou's laughin'. I'm scared shit and start to climb out of the fuckin' car, but before I can, Jimmy's gunning the engine, slapping into reverse, and we're going straight back. And Lou's on the porch doin' like an Oprah thing, like a black thing, you know, like his hand's on his hip and, like, "You go, girl."

But by then we're halfway down the fuckin' ravine by Lou's house, and the car comes up against a stump, and I'm thrown clear. I'm completely okay and shit. And Jimmy's in the back seat. I see his feet. And the gas pedal must be stuck because the wheels are still turning, throwing up dirt and rocks and shit at me, digging holes in the fuckin’ ground. And you know, we're looking like up, you know, like up the fuckin' ravine. Leastways I am. And Lou and Janis are standing up there, looking down. Then suddenly the car just shuts off. The engine like gives up or some shit, and Jimmy starts to push himself, you know, upright in the back seat. And Lou and Janis are looking down on us. She's still got the fuckin’ antenna in her hand. And Lou says, "Excellent work, honey."

Me and Jimmy climb up the ravine together. When we get to the top, Lou and Janis are gone. Probably in the house. And I say to Jimmy, "Jimmy, man, I got to get back to my friends, you know?" And he says it's cool, he's got his car here. So we get into his car. And we start back. And we're both like completely, you know, unscathed. Except I have a wicked little tiny bruise starting up just under my eye. It wasn't the accident. It wasn't from getting thrown clear. It was one of the fuckin' pebbles the tires kicked up. Hit me right near the fuckin' eye. I could of gone blind. But except for that, we're both fine. It's a miracle.

And this is the unbelievable part. I'm still tripping my fuckin' brains. And we're drivin' along on Trapelo. Not speeding or shit. And I'm still fuckin' high. I took two fuckin' hits that day, because all my friends were getting off and I wasn't feeling anything.

So, we're drivin' along and Jimmy starts to rub my leg. I swear to God. He starts to rub my leg. At first I think he's like doing it cause of some like post-traumatic stress shit or some shit. You know because we went down the fuckin' ravine and shit. But after a few seconds I get to feeling it's definitely a sexual thing. So I say—I've known Jimmy for like my whole life and he never pulled this shit—so I say, "Jimmy, what the fuck are you doin'?" And he says, "Nothin'." But he keeps rubbing. And I say, "Jimmy, cut the shit, man." And he stops. And he goes, "I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry, man." You know, shit like that. Like "I'm sorry man, I didn't know." And I'm thinkin', didn't know? Didn't know what?

Alec Solomita lives in Somerville, Mass. His work has appeared in the Boston Phoenix, the Boston Book Review, the Blip Magazine Archive, and other publications. He is currently working on a novel.


Maintained by Blip Magazine Archive at

Copyright © 1995-2011
Opinions are those of the authors.