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Ron Morelli

A Tall Canister of Black Eyed Peas

I'm very depressed.

I just realized that I love my left foot more than I love my right foot. As a result, the two feet are now fighting, and won't speak to each other.

This has, of course, caused a number of problems.

I spoke to my therapist, who told me to stop telling the left foot how much I love it more than the right. Also, I should take back the car I bought for my left foot, as this was making my right foot very alienated.

I fired the therapist. The left foot suggested he was being partial to the right. I concurred.

Ron Morelli was born in Warren, Michigan . . . a cold and stark place with many potholes. He graduated from Wayne State University in 1998 with a BA in Liberal Arts, which after a year of doing nothing, finally landed him a gig doing research for a publishing company.

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