Dermaflash Luxe Anti-Aging Sonic Dermaplaning Exfoliation Tool, in Pop Pink
The ad in the magazine at the eye doctor’s office says the peach fuzz on my face must be mowed, that these teeny-tiny hairs obscure my true beauty. I open my vanity drawers overflowing with gizmos and whatchamacallits, serums and potions. Into the treasure, I plunge my hands, raise them skyward, wait for transformation. At yet another stop along the Golden Years Highway, my audiologist says I’m losing my inner-ear hair cells. She doesn’t laugh at my cheek-to-canal transplant joke. Voices have begun to muffle like Charlie Brown’s teacher. I wonder which of my sensate organs will reach the finish line first? I can no longer clearly see the milkweed’s fuzzy floss or the caterpillar’s furry coat, but I can feel the silky down on my grandbaby’s head when she nuzzles in the crook of my neck. In such moments, everything, everyone, is beautiful—the Campbell’s soup can, clean socks, Cece bringing the mail, this drizzly day, me.
~
In the hospital registration room
we sit like children waiting to be seen by the principal. And not like children, in that we are patient. No fidgeting, no fussing. What else are the sick to do on a Tuesday afternoon? Don’t get old, one man jokes to another, and newspapers rustle, transporting minds elsewhere as failing bodies remain content to simply be. The clerk calls Number 27. One of our gang shuffles to the inner office. In the shower this morning, I stood under warm running bliss. Steam rolling into my lungs, opening tight tunnels as if letting in daybreak. There are a few blessings to illness. An ever-present, orange-vested road construction worker holds the sign, SLOW DOWN. When I pass GO, instead of collecting two hundred dollars, I nab a nifty Get-Out-of-Work-Free Card. Best of all? Unlimited naps. The clerk calls Number 28. Onward, but I take my time.
~
The Time Unraveler’s Life
The Professor of Lost Time wrote the book. At breakfast each morning, he descended into the world of Reddit— two hours gone, never to be seen again. Next, he cleaned house, which is a true waste of time as it just gets dirty again. At lunch, the professor watched Seinfeld reruns and wondered who was better in bed— George or Kramer? Following a brief power nap, he went out in the garden to count flower petals. 11,347. He dug a hole and filled it up again. After a lemonade break, the professor searched the Internet for a perfect birthday gift for his dog. During dinner, he played solitaire because the dog was out, thus unavailable for cribbage. The professor got the hiccups and spent an hour trying to scare himself. There was no element of surprise. At nine, he went to bed, another day closer to the Ignoble Prize.
~
If I Were a Mountain, I Would Still Be Young
The birds chatter in Spanish. I do not understand what they say, never having bothered to learn their language. Too late now to sprout new wings and sing? Headlines will read Woman Believes She Can Fly, Leaps from Gumbo Limbo Tree. Unsuspecting Iguana Narrowly Skirts Death. How foolish I’ve been for thinking time was a renewable resource, for wasting even one tick! Now, time is a bomb, hurtling across el cielo toward mi vida. I slice the day with a sharp knife, no crumbs wasted. Unfamiliar verbs need conjugation. The mountain rumbles—I must hasten.
~
Summertime Blues, Key West
Soon, the hurricane season blows in. Soon, we shutter and sandbag. Soon comes the silence between birdsong and wind wail. Our neighbors storm the stores for cases of water, canned food, batteries. We load our Kia Soul with all we cannot live without, queue for gas, join the snake of cars slithering up U.S. 1, blue skies turning the color of bruise. Soon, we are glued to the radio, ears tuned for news. We imagine a wounded home, worry over friends left behind. We question the sanity of staying, of risking house and life on a limestone rock at the mercy of Neptune and Zeus, of human complicity and wave upon wave of denial. Soon, we say we’ll sell, but we won’t because soon, this too shall pass and we’ll return—the tidal pull of paradise too strong to resist.
~
Ann Weil’s poetry appears in Best New Poets 2024, New World Writing Quarterly, Pedestal Magazine, Inflectionist Review, RHINO, Chestnut Review, DMQ Review, Maudlin House, 3Elements Review, and elsewhere. Weil is the author of Lifecycle of a Beautiful Woman (Yellow Arrow Publishing, 2023) and Blue Dog Road Trip (Gnashing Teeth Publishing, 2024). A four-time Pushcart nominee, Weil lives with her husband in Ann Arbor, MI. To read more of her work, visit annweilpoetry.com.