I’m a decorative throw pillow, I’m a pair of memory foam house slippers
After Eric Scot Tryon
I work the afternoon shift at the TJ Maxx Homegoods. I eat yogurt for breakfast because my last bone density test was not good. Also, I’m trying to eat more tofu because I read somewhere that soy can help with hot flashes. Every month, my husband opens up the water bill and complains about our son’s suspiciously long showers. I don’t mind cooking dinner, it’s the coming up with what to cook that I hate. Some days, I stop at the lake park on my way home from work to feed the ducks. I like their little green heads and their quacking. Other days, I stop by the grocery store. Last year, our son decided he’d rather work than finish community college, and I’m okay with that. I saw something funny on a t‑shirt at work: “You lack a certain Je Né Sais Quoi.” I almost bought it because I thought it was hip, but then I realized it was mean and put it back. I have a Tuna Ala King recipe that I make for meal trains because people say they like it. If I ever need to buy a gift, I get it at work with my employee discount. I joined the gym because my doctor said I need to do more strength training. I don’t really know if this is what I expected from life. Our son just got a job at an axe-throwing establishment called “The Axe Hole.” I play Candy Crush on my phone in the waiting room while my husband gets a colonoscopy. I told him that for Mother’s Day, I want to go to one of those Sunday brunch places that have bottomless mimosas. I read somewhere that boy ducks have a penis like a corkscrew, which prevents the girl duck from running away before he’s done. When I come home from work, my cat is usually sleeping on my bed. I wonder if she ever licks anything other than her butthole. I bet she doesn’t because she’s spayed. I’m not spayed, though. I found cannabis gummies in my son’s room, so I tried one. I’m at the grocery store, unable to remember what it was I needed. Yet, I know the words to every single Journey song. I’m a to-do list. I’m a hot flash. I’m a sky full of ducks.
~
Teeth
Work thinks I’m at the convention center, but I cannot spend another second in that tech-bro-red-bull-kale-salad place. So I walk. I come across a pawn shop hiding in plain sight. And at the bottom of an ancient chest, I find a pair of yellowish dentures. Blocky and inelegant, yet the front teeth align precisely; they’re definitely capable of biting something in half. I could’ve used a good pair of chompers last night when I told that Salesforce guy, No. Don’t. Stop. I guess he heard things differently.
When I’m not sure I want to buy something, I carry it around; I like to feel its vibe. And, the deeper I wander into the dusky, winding innards of the shop, the more I like the teeth. They feel reassuring in my hand, like their filaments are infiltrating the skin of my palm, heat-seeking the mycelium of my endometriosis, intertwining, making my fallopian tubes shiver like flowers.
I decide: I need these dentures. I wish I could try them on, though—
A silvery antique mirror hangs askew on the wall in front of me. The eggplant bruises on my neck are peeking out from my scarf, which I’ve loosened a bit; it’s warm in here. I fold the teeth in half, like I do with my diaphragm, and shove them into my mouth. They aren’t comfortable, but I like that they’re a second layer of teeth, like I’m a shark, or one of those sandworms from Dune. I can’t close my lips, but I can smile.
~
Lost But Found
I’m at school when the rain turns into missiles. And explosions make us cover our ears with our hands. And Teacher motions for us to follow her. But I don’t follow. I slip outside and crawl through the me-sized hole in the fence. Because when Mama took me to the elegant store with the tinkly chandeliers and the escalators that bared their teeth at me, she said, If I get lost, don’t wander, or she can’t find me. Which I also took to mean: If I go home, I will find her.
Our apartment building has turned into a diorama. I can see Mama’s sunflower wallpaper, and Papa’s sheet music is blowing down the street. I hide in Mr. Kravets’ store, watching and waiting. More explosions shake the ground, and ceiling chunks fall in plumes of dust. At night, I hear men speaking a language I don’t understand.
The next afternoon, I’m so hungry I can’t stop thinking about the McVities chocolate digestives in our cupboard. When night falls, I creep up the stairwell. I expect Sasha’s purr when I open the door, but instead the moon is in my living room. I do find the biscuits. Then I find Mama, on the floor, beneath glittering glass. When I whisper, Papa?, his baby grand piano blinks back tears.
The next morning, a strange sound wakes me. In the sky. Papa? Practicing the Rachmaninoff concerto he was to perform at the concert hall. Where I’d wear the yellow dress Mama bought at the elegant store, and we’d sit in red velvet seats. I run out of Mr. Kravets’ shop, yelling, Papa! Papa! But it isn’t a piano; it’s a helicopter pretending to be a piano. And men who aren’t Papa grab me and bring me here
where the sky weeps and everyone is my age. We sleep two to a bed, four to a bunk. Every day, people in uniforms send us outside even though it’s blizzarding. I walk the fence line, looking for me-sized holes. Today, I hear a soft clicking, like Mama’s knitting needles. I look up, and a calico-colored scarf dangles from a lamp post, the same way Sasha dangled from the curtains. Then, like Sasha, the scarf falls into my arms. It’s soft and warm. I hear Mama’s voice, Where have you been! Where is your coat? Put this around your neck— I do, and it purrs.
~
Dawn Tasaka Steffler is an Asian-American writer from Hawaii who lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. She was a Smokelong Quarterly Emerging Writer Fellow, Winner of the Bath Flash Fiction Award, Finalist in Fractured Lit’s Flash Fiction OPEN, and selected for Best Small Fictions and an Anthology of Rural Stories by Writers of Color 2025 (EastOver Press). Forthcoming work is in Flash the Court, Waxwing, and Cutleaf. Find her online at dawntasakasteffler.com and on BlueSky, Instagram, and Facebook.