Joshua Hebburn ~ The Window

On the sec­ond floor of a beige stuc­co ding­bat apart­ment com­plex in my Dad’s neigh­bor­hood there’s a win­dow with blue cur­tains. I’m often vis­it­ing my Dad, late­ly. After (or some­times dur­ing) a vis­it I take a walk. The win­dow faces the street. It’s over a park­ing space. The space is some­times filled by a truck. The win­dow doesn’t have a screen. It’s a place that has a nice smell this after­noon because there’s some­body doing bar­be­cue in the back­yard. I can hear music with Spanish lyrics and the sounds of hap­py peo­ple drink­ing. It’s com­ing from more than one place. There’s a mix­ture of hous­es and apart­ments around here. Today the truck is there. The screen­less win­dow above the truck is open, always. Often, when I’m pass­ing the win­dow on my walk, the brown snout of a dog pro­trudes from between the cur­tains. There’s the brown snout. There’s the black nose. I eat an orange. The dog must be large if the snout is pro­por­tion­al. A Labrador, a German shep­herd, I don’t know? It was a good orange. I would per­son­al­ly, were I the own­er of the dog, be ner­vous my dog would jump out of the win­dow after something—my Caracara orange, for exam­ple, or carne asa­da and a beer, for example—but that’s real­ly small dog behav­ior. I dis­card the orange peel into the storm drain. I have become curi­ous about the snout of a dog. My hands are sticky with orange. I use a tap in somebody’s yard. I take the phone out of my pock­et. I go into the inter­net. I’ve been try­ing to come up with a descrip­tion of what this is like. I don’t know why I need to define it? Like div­ing clean­ly into water that is the exact same tem­per­a­ture as the air. Like water you can effort­less­ly breathe. Like a flu­id that fills,  drains away, the space around you. Aren’t a lot of things bet­ter left indef­i­nite­ly indef­i­nite? Maybe because it’s a new expe­ri­ence that became avail­able to my gen­er­a­tion, and that affects it pro­found­ly, a thing to the ‘aughts like LSD was to the ‘60s and ‘70s—and here to stay. The human nose has about five mil­lion recep­tors for smell. The dog’s snout has about three hun­dred mil­lion. The dog, I think, is using the win­dow. Though it’s use in a dif­fer­ent way than was intend­ed by the framer, the glaz­er, the land­lord, the rental agent, the man­age­ment com­pa­ny, and the rest of the small crowd of peo­ple involved in every part of an apart­ment in the rich­est and most pop­u­lous city on the west coast. Sometimes, the dog barks. I hope one day as I pass the dog will bark to me, as if to wave, or say in dog, “hel­lo.” I want to be picked out of three hun­dred mil­lion points of information.

~

Joshua Hebburn lives in Los Angeles and the inter­net. He’s a fic­tion edi­tor at X‑R-A‑Y. He rec­om­mends Scott Garson’s “Tell Me What It Is” from the New World Writing archive.