Susan E Lloy ~ Time Out 

The wind rat­tles the trees that envel­op her house deep in the near impen­e­tra­ble woods. It’s her home, but the struc­ture is more like a camp real­ly. She burns wood for heat and fetch­es water from the near­by stream to drink and cook. She chose this life after com­plet­ing anoth­er. Filing it away in an abstract box some­where in her mind’s eye. She became fatigued of this fast-mov­ing gen­er­a­tion of tech and side-step­ping youth who sel­dom offer a word except when chat­ting on their phones – shift­ing like swift swim­ming sea crea­tures. She want­ed to slow it down and hear the rum­ble of the for­est: the crows that bark, the coy­otes that howl and the crisp crunch of deer hooves on dead leaves and fall­en snow.

On occa­sion she fish­es for trout and salmon. She heard from the pre­vi­ous own­er that at one time the fish prac­ti­cal­ly flew out of the water to greet a line. Now she’s lucky to catch a sin­gle fish in a week. The stock has deplet­ed itself to near non-exis­tence. Still the cur­rent remains stead­fast, mas­sag­ing the riv­er stones as if pol­ished gems wait­ing to be set when the sun basks the banks with its relent­less force.

~

There is elec­tric­i­ty here and she does enjoy read­ing and play­ing the odd tune from time to time. Usually, she prefers to hear the song­birds that call through­out the thick­et and won­ders what they sing about. Probably announc­ing pos­si­ble foe alerts, or don’t come home with­out din­ner or search­ing for a mate. She has giv­en up on that busi­ness. The col­lec­tion of win­ter wood and caulk­ing against the ele­ments takes her mind of that. Once, an indi­vid­ual came to her in need for a phone when he had car trou­ble, but she sub­sists with­out one. She let him charge his own phone though. Her cab­in is vis­i­ble against the black night with its cozy warm lit light up a wind­ing dirt road. She could tell that he thought her strange to live here com­plete­ly alone when he inquired how does she enjoy the iso­la­tion? But her assured response made him ask no more. The radio pro­vides all she needs to know about the world and when she doesn’t want to know it is sim­ply left turned off in its cor­ner nook. The voic­es of the trees are prefer­able with their rus­tles, whoosh­es and roars depen­dent on the strength of the wind and win­ter snow. The weight on the branch­es, the creaks of their inte­ri­or souls. The sum­mer heat that press­es down with all of its might.

~

The for­est cre­ates rou­tine. One must be aware of the ele­ments and all that they bring. A roof must be man­aged against the fall­en leaves, so it will drain with­out dif­fi­cul­ty. The cold lit­tle beasts must be kept out from bur­row­ing in from the chill that bat­ters down for more than six months at a time. Timber must be kept dry for fires. The small out­build­ing must be man­aged for the stor­age of fuel and be main­tained to pro­tect her tools that toil. Snow shoes and sleds are housed here.

She used to be a city gal. Yet, all the ban­ter and bar­rage of the cur­rent state has dri­ven her towards this new con­cep­tion. She want­ed to rid her­self of past desires and uti­lize only what is need­ed. To sur­vive, to be in the present, and leave the past hooked on the hus­tle of the urban beat. Here, she must live in real time. To embrace the ele­ments free from judge­ment and to make choic­es depen­dent on dai­ly require­ments. It seems to cen­ter her. Distractions are not dis­tract­ing except when a preda­tor gets too close for her lik­ing. In those times she must be redi­rect­ed to the demands of the day. Bang a stick on a tree, stand up and shout aggres­sive­ly or sim­ply bar­ri­cade her­self inside if a bear and her cubs saunter by when they smell her din­ner cook­ing on the wood­stove. She prefers wildlife instead of a mug­ger or bur­glar prowl­ing the city streets, for those folk are often armed.

~

She has no kin and most of her acquain­tances have long since dis­ap­peared. That’s how life goes. It just gets busy or on the flip­side so bor­ing that peo­ple can’t be both­ered to reach out and deliv­er lit­tle tid­bits of incon­se­quen­tial noth­ings. She doesn’t miss that chitchat which goes nowhere just to have human con­tact. The sim­ple trade­marks of crea­ture com­fort. No. She prefers the stars at night, espe­cial­ly if there is a mete­or show­er. The hoot owls that hunt dur­ing the deep night keep­ing her com­pa­ny and the hawks that fly by day. There’s an owl not far from her cab­in that helps keeps the rodents at bay and feels like a com­pan­ion. She some­times leaves lit­tle things for him or her to eat as a token of sol­i­dar­i­ty. She isn’t a hunter and she tried keep­ing chick­ens, but they are easy marks with fox­es and oth­er ani­mals. She has an old car that she uses for food pro­vi­sions in a lit­tle town about forty-five min­utes away and makes the trip once a month for gro­ceries. She can be part of things if she choos­es to be, but she chose otherwise.

~

Each sea­son she notices the changes. The strength of the sum­mer heat. The riv­er becom­ing shal­low­er. It’s been near­ly impos­si­ble to catch a fish this year. The vis­it­ing ani­mals don’t make a call and she is con­cerned about those things. She heard on the radio that the sum­mer fires have stared ear­ly this year and that’s a wor­ry. Animals are privy to these tran­si­tions and prob­a­bly have already made alter­na­tive escape plans since a fire has begun about fifty miles from her spot. If the wind is right, it could bring it to her. Even the riv­er won’t pro­tect her. It will swal­low up every­thing in its path. Every year they get worse. The cities boil up with bak­ing con­crete and fierce, siz­zling wind tun­nels. The forests dis­ap­pear along with wildlife and habi­tat. What will be left for future beast and man? She can’t think about that now. The fire is on its way to her and her vehi­cle won’t start. She heads to the road, the smoke get­ting thick­er hop­ing a pass­ing some­one will see her out­stretched thumb.

~

Susan E Lloy is the author of three short sto­ry col­lec­tions, But When We Look Closer (2017), Vita (2019) and Nothing Comes Back (2023). She has just com­plet­ed her fourth col­lec­tion, Only Six Stars at Night. Lloy lives in Montréal.