John Holman ~ Strawberry

My old­er broth­er Clay had come to vis­it me in Georgia for my 66th birth­day, but our plans were inter­rupt­ed when a neigh­bor need­ed a ride to the emer­gency room. I couldn’t say no, of course, so we turned off the pre-game analy­sis for an NBA finals game and picked up Johnson down the street. He was hav­ing chest pain. Clay thought we should call an ambu­lance. “I called my doc­tor, damn it,” Johnson said, frown­ing in the back seat, his hand grip­ping his shirt pock­et. “He said to just get myself to the hos­pi­tal.” Johnson was as old as we were. He rent­ed a Tuff Shed with ameni­ties behind a reg­u­lar house. He didn’t have a car. Public trans­porta­tion was slow any day, espe­cial­ly Sundays, so he called me, maybe because ear­li­er he’d said he was feel­ing grim when I invit­ed him to watch the game with us. All three of us lived alone.

I was head­ed to the near­est trau­ma cen­ter, but Johnson said no. He liked a dif­fer­ent hos­pi­tal, fur­ther out. I sighed and got on the inter­state head­ed north. I heard him rustling a wrin­kled paper bag he had with him. In the review mir­ror, I saw him take out a plump, maroon Bible. He held it on his lap, unopened, as he gri­maced out the win­dow. I didn’t know a lot about Johnson. He hadn’t lived on the street long. He worked the seafood counter at the gro­cery store, where I met him, and I had told him about the Tuff Shed for rent when he asked if I knew of any vacan­cies. He couldn’t afford the motel any­more. I had won­dered what he brought in the bag.

The wait­ing area was prac­ti­cal­ly emp­ty and Johnson was tak­en right away. We fig­ured it would be a while for X‑rays, an EKG, like­ly an MRI, plus blood work and maybe even a stress test. If some­thing more, we fig­ured he’d have to stay the night, or longer. Clay and I didn’t think it was a heart attack. Maybe angi­na. Gas. Indigestion. Bile. Heartburn. A demon. Gerd. Something stuck in his craw.

Maybe that was mean, jok­ing like that, min­i­miz­ing, but we were being opti­mistic. We sat on wide, green vinyl chairs and picked up parts of a news­pa­per from a table in front of us. I read the comics and advice, then switched with Clay and read the sports and weath­er. We watched more peo­ple come, check in at the front win­dow, take seats in the wait­ing area. No one came in bloody. No one on a stretch­er. A man had his hand wrapped in a tow­el, like a giant Q‑tip pros­thet­ic. He sat in a cor­ner. A woman in flan­nel paja­mas and a pink satin bon­net helped a limp­ing teenage boy find a seat oppo­site us. They played a card-guess­ing game for a while. Soon, all the patients were called back. The woman in the bon­net went with the boy.

Hours passed. We were bored, hav­ing tired of snarks about how scared, over­re­ac­tive, and enti­tled Johnson seemed, about whether or not he knew what to read from his Bible, and about how he imag­ined it would help him. Maybe it calmed him. Maybe we were arro­gant, enjoy­ing our close­ness while Johnson appar­ent­ly had no one.

Sometimes we could com­mu­ni­cate with­out speak­ing. But we talked about the time our father had a heart attack, when we were boys, and remem­bered wait­ing with neigh­bors while our moth­er rode along in the ambu­lance. Clay said he had prayed in the neigh­bors’ bath­room while I watched Bonanza or some­thing on their TV. They’d been the last neigh­bors to get indoor plumb­ing. I said I had stared into their fire­place, watch­ing logs burn and embers rise, hyp­no­tized by the pat­terns and col­ors of the flames, zon­ing out the ter­ror. The neigh­bors were a child­less cou­ple. They didn’t have any toys or games.

Once, the wife had come to our house cry­ing in fright and shame because her hus­band had point­ed his rifle at her, threat­ened to kill her. Why? Our moth­er com­fort­ed her, sat her in the kitchen with some cof­fee. And our dad went next door to talk. We’d been afraid the neigh­bor would shoot our dad. It took a long time. But that long night when we were at their house we were ter­ri­fied our dad would die at the hos­pi­tal, or was already dead. They heat­ed up Campbell’s veg­etable soup for us, served it in round white bowls. Never was I to be so grate­ful for canned soup.

Mmm-good,” Clay said, stretch­ing out his legs so that his new Hokas were under the table. He’d brought me a pair for my birth­day, so we both had on fat white shoes that looked like gen­er­ous slices of cake.

At the check-in win­dow I asked the atten­dant to have Johnson phone me when he was ready or if he’d be kept for the night. I gave her my num­ber. Clay had a joint he want­ed to fire up, and I had read in the paper about the Strawberry moon that should be vis­i­ble, so we went out­side. The hos­pi­tal build­ings rose tall around us, block­ing most of the sky. We drove to the top of the park­ing deck and that’s where we saw it. It wasn’t red or pink. It was big and white. Perfectly round. Clay said it coin­cid­ed with the tra­di­tion­al Native American har­vest of straw­ber­ries in June. I had read that, too, and I knew it wasn’t sup­posed to look like a straw­ber­ry, but I would have been hap­py if it had a rosy tint.

We began to list all the moons we’d heard of. Wolf moon, Blue moon, Beaver moon, Blood moon, Flower moon, Corn moon. I recalled the Harvest moon, which must have been the Corn moon, when we were in ele­men­tary school. It occurred around the time of the Harvest Festival. Kids who sold the most tick­ets to the fes­ti­val would be crowned Harvest King and Queen. I was Harvest King twice, I remind­ed Clay. A raf­fle offered prizes like a straw bas­ket of veg­eta­bles and a live turkey. The King and Queen got a sil­ver dol­lar and a card­board crown dec­o­rat­ed with con­struc­tion paper ears of corn and leaves. I was shy about wear­ing the crown, stand­ing on the stage at the far end of the bas­ket­ball court beside what­ev­er lit­tle-girl Queen. Parents applaud­ed. They’d actu­al­ly sold the tick­ets. Or bought them. I cher­ished the sil­ver dol­lars, hid­ing them in my shoes, walk­ing around like that, uncom­fort­able, cer­tain they would be worth a for­tune in the future. And I’d buy us a new house. More than half a cen­tu­ry had passed since then, so if I’d been right, and kept the coins, I’d have been rich. We gazed on the Strawberry moon, which now looked like a sil­ver dol­lar. We were both think­ing that.

When’s the last time you saw or held one?” Clay asked.

Not since I was King, probably.”

In the Old West, you’d pluck one from your vest and spin it on the bar for a shot of red-eye.”

Leave the bot­tle,” I said.

You know, my bar­ber­shop is called the Silver Moon,” Clay said.

Huh. Unusual bar­ber­shop name.”

Good for a saloon, though, I always thought.”

Must be a poet­ic place. Barber poets. Shorn poets.”

More of an argu­ment place. Last week, I’m wait­ing like an hour while five peo­ple shout­ed about the dif­fer­ence between a sched­ule and a rou­tine. I’m think­ing I had a sched­ule to get my hair cut, while they rou­tine­ly argued.”

We had the win­dows down and the moon roof open, although we viewed the moon through the wind­shield, the park­ing deck bathed in chrome light. There were no oth­er cars around. The night was warm. The smoke drift­ed out. This part was pure­ly sublime.

I had a wreck once because I was look­ing at the moon,” Clay said. “I don’t know which moon. Summer, so it could have been this one. I hit the curb hard and bent a wheel. Had to call a wreck­er. It was embar­rass­ing, but I was alone. Except for the tow truck guy. He hooked up the car, and I kept the moon in sight. How did I get home?”

Were you high?”

I don’t think so. I’d been vis­it­ing a woman I didn’t real­ly like. I mean, she was nice but not all that appeal­ing. So I was con­fused about why I’d gone to see her, and the moon had been a surprise.”

We were silent for a long while. Thinking about the past. We’d been for­tu­nate boys. But our dad didn’t sur­vive his heart attack. Our moth­er lived longer. And we’d had some mis­steps over the years. Romantic, finan­cial, legal. Also, we both had lost a spouse. Thyroid. Pancreas. We weren’t new to emer­gen­cies or to doing time at hos­pi­tals. But Clay had a daugh­ter in Barcelona and I had a son in Hawaii, good places to vis­it on occa­sion. I didn’t men­tion this to Clay, but I remem­bered feel­ing awe when the same night sky as our child­hood in Virginia devel­oped over trop­i­cal Hawaii, and being furi­ous at the moon when my wife died.

Clay said, “It was a full moon when Dad died, too. Remember?”

No. Not real­ly. That’s interesting.”

He was search­ing on his phone, its glow on his face. “The Worm moon,” he said.

He checked for the score of the game. He knew about all the play­ers, the stats, the bets. He seemed sat­is­fied. Then my phone rang. It was well after mid­night. Johnson said he was ready. He said he had a pul­monary embolism, although he stum­bled over the words.

What’s that?” I asked. “I ought to know, right?”

I’ll tell you. I’m stand­ing outside.”

We start­ed our descent through the park­ing deck, the moon light gone but sodi­um lights bright­en­ing the emp­ty con­crete lev­els. Clay had infor­ma­tion about embolisms. He said some cul­tures thought the moon played a part. He said he’d had one in his leg two years ear­li­er. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked. “What exact­ly is it?”

It wasn’t a big enough deal. I mean it could have been, but it wasn’t. I took a blood thin­ner for a few months and it went away. It was after my trip to Spain. I should have worn com­pres­sion socks.”

So, it’s a blood clot?”

Yeah, like an obstruc­tive bubble.”

So, Johnson has a lung bubble.”

Yeah. Dangerous. It prob­a­bly start­ed in his leg.”

All this was wor­ri­some. I didn’t want Johnson to up and die. Clay either. We pulled up to the entrance, and Johnson stood there look­ing old and vul­ner­a­ble in red-and-white light from the Emergency sign, clutch­ing his Bible-in-a-bag. He got in the back­seat again.

I have a blis­ter,” he said.

It’s not a blis­ter,” Clay said.

What is it, then?”

Clay shook his head.

I laughed. I was think­ing a straw­ber­ry, then a moon in his chest.

Johnson said, “You boys know so much. Which one of you is a doctor?”

We got back to the neigh­bor­hood. On the way, Johnson described his med­ical expe­ri­ence, but the way he told it didn’t make sense. He got con­fused about the tests they per­formed, called the EKG an EEG and seemed to think that the squeeze of the blood pres­sure cuff was a stress test. He showed Clay his pre­scrip­tion bot­tle. They had giv­en him Eliquis which he called Elegant. But he was relieved he didn’t have a heart issue. “That’s water over the bridge,” he said.

Johnson moved in the moon­light through the gate at the side of the house. It was a big house, white and cube-shaped, lumi­nous now. From where we sat, we couldn’t see the shed, or Johnson go into it. I fig­ured he’d be okay. He’d man­aged, some­how, this long.

Good birth­day,” I said, back­ing out the driveway.

Clay said, “Sweet.”

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John Holman is the author of Squabble and Other Stories, Luminous Mysteries, and Triangle Ray. He teach­es writ­ing at Georgia State University.