Bill Brymer ~ Three Flash Fictions

The Pig Roast

One of the guests, a stout, big-haired woman in a tight-fit­ting dress, asked the head of cater­ing for the pig’s nose, which he glad­ly sev­ered with a quick chop of his cleaver. The pig, slow-cooked to the col­or of a cop­per pen­ny, stared out dumb­ly through wal­nut eyes, mouth open, as if it want­ed to protest this indig­ni­ty. The woman tasked a house­maid with find­ing a safe­ty pin which was pro­duced in good time. She then pinned the nose to the strap of her dress and pro­ceed­ed to spend the next half hour approach­ing the oth­er guests ask­ing each whether some­thing smelled fun­ny to them, too. The cater­ing crew lit the Sterno can­is­ters and filled the chaf­ing dish­es with pulled pork, baked beans and corn pud­ding. The host­ess stood on the steps of the back patio and clapped her hands. When that failed to get everyone’s atten­tion, her hus­band hand­ed her a bell which she rang vig­or­ous­ly. “Tonight we’re slum­ming it,” she cheer­i­ly exclaimed. “It’s serve your­self. Buffet style.” The guests, the well-to-do and aspir­ing social climbers, looked at one anoth­er and then, after some tedious back and forth to deter­mine who should go first, orga­nized them­selves into some­thing resem­bling an order­ly line.

~

Paradise

A man and a woman leave a restau­rant togeth­er each in pos­ses­sion of their thoughts, his the hope they’ll get home in time to catch the end of the bas­ket­ball game, mon­ey rid­ing on it, hers on pass­ing a fes­tive store win­dow, that Easter is so ear­ly this year, the first week of April, and not yet a sin­gle tulip or jon­quil, ear­ly ris­ers. Of course, fol­low­ing the flow­ers, bees.  Then flies, mos­qui­tos, and cica­da, if this is a year a brood ris­es from their tem­po­rary graves to shed their worn out skin. All this think­ing of bugs makes her unset­tled for rea­sons she can’t explain. Perhaps she was trau­ma­tized in child­hood by a spi­der in her bed­room hang­ing from its elas­tic thread inch­es above her pil­low. Or maybe she equates bugs with death, hav­ing once found a kit­ten cov­ered by a pale fist of writhing mag­gots in the field behind their house. Nevertheless, two peo­ple, a cou­ple, walk­ing side by side each with their own con­cerns, nei­ther notic­ing the hint of rain in the air nor the way the side­walk was grad­ed to go around an estab­lished tree. She takes his hand and asks if he loves her. Of course, he says, squeez­ing hers. But, do you mind, can we walk faster?

~

Old Soul

Pine nee­dle and pun­gent wet earth, a dozen or more boys hik­ing in a line watch­ing the ground for roots and loose rock, the back of the one in front’s pack, round offi­cial scout­ing can­teen sway­ing like the pen­du­lum of an old grand­fa­ther clock. The path the boys are on is, of course, time — they can be for­giv­en their com­plaints of bore­dom, young and just begin­ning to dis­cov­er the steady, reas­sur­ing cadence of walk­ing. There’s one among them, always at least one, dif­fer­ent from the rest, pulling ahead, led by bird call and scat sign, spot­ter of cairns, as pre­dictable as moss on the north and aware where leather rubs against skin, blis­ters by day’s end.

~

Bill Brymer is a writer and pho­tog­ra­ph­er from Louisville, Kentucky. His work has appeared or is forth­com­ing in The Louisville Review, Porchlight, Salvation South, Prairie Schooner, Sheila-Na-Gig Online, Tar River Poetry, Southwest Review, Poetry South, Yearling, and oth­er pub­li­ca­tions. His book Neighborhood Watch is sched­uled for pub­li­ca­tion by Accents Publishing in ear­ly 2027.