One of the Magician’s tricks was called “One Two Three Squiggle” — Plastic cans turned into a pile of furry caterpillars! He watched the fat white caterpillars crawl toward warmth and felt like God.
It was 1am in the Star Crumb. He had pulled the rabbit out of his hat and, unfortunately, it has pooped in great quantity. Rabbit pellets exploded onto the staging area. The crowd laughed and burped. Someone squealed.
On holidays, the magician wore a corset, which accentuated his slender waist. He had long ago applied for a sex change operation, and had been rejected. His request had been thumbed-down by mental midgets who were always in charge (it seemed) of such matters.
He depended on anti-depressants to remain spunky, and he took them religiously. Some days he felt exhilaration. On holidays he would wear expensive silk underneath his other clothing.
His assistant’s breasts were bubble-round. This was her most attractive feature — a feature that convinced the magician to hire an otherwise skinny and nervous girl.
This obsession with his assistant’s breasts led to the magician’s most well known trick, one he called “Pufferfish”, in which he would coax the assistant’s breasts away from her body… calling them like little dogs. He would say “Here puppies!” The breasts would come.
He called them Ursula and Miranda.
The crowd sang songs, cursed, and sometimes yodeled.
Nights after shows, he felt an ache he attributed to loneliness. He was not sure if it mattered.
The magician swore under his breath, over and over, walking around the frozen city at 3AM.
He spit the words “spaz”, “spanky” and “Spooze” — watched them spray like new birds.